Hi Animarie,
I was deeply saddened when i read your post and felt that i should share my experiences with you. I too lost my mother to cancer in 2014, and have had family members fall ill. So i understand what you are going through to some extent. It is one of the most challenging things to ever have to go through, and i know its rubbish for the time being. Just remember: 'This too shall pass' and at some point things will get better, no matter how bad they feel right now. xxx