Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella
I've seen there's something about giving and receiving advice that seem to touch off primitive and core emotions. Advice receiving is the largest cause of contention in my real life relationships. I can only speculate the reason for the other person's hysteria: the mother/child metaphor, a need to be needed, establishing seniority, or a shattered self-image of being kind and sage. It also feels that "critics" are the most reactive when someone criticizes them.
I agree with ididitmyway's point that delivery is all important. I think a little thing like a pronoun can make the difference between seeming superior, talking to someone as if they're stupid (or reminding them of kindergarten) or imparting an opinion in a uncondescending, neutral way.
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In terms of delivery, I'd like to add that my understanding of giving an opinion in a neutral, uncondensending way is that the one who expresses the opinion doesn't insist, implicitly or explicitly, that their opinion should be accepted as the absolute unquestionable truth and doesn't imply that there is something wrong with those who don't accept "the truth" let alone personally attacking those who dare to think differently. I've observed enough ad hominem attacks on this forum, including those directed at me, and enough amateur self-designated "therapists" here, who attempt to analyze anyone whose opinion they don't like, to start wondering about how moderation is done here. It seems to me that stopping this type of behavior right at the moment when it happens and at the specific thread where it happens would help to create safety much more than generally instructing everyone not to be judgmental.