What has helped?

Finding the right cocktail of meds that helped the symptoms, but did so without negative side effects.

A therapist who helped me understand the beginnings of episodes and how to curtail the negative consequences by early awareness.

PC, coming here and realizing that my symptoms were not the enemy, evil or abnormal for Bipolar. Finding out much of what I have experienced, so have others here.

Getting a diagnosis after having lived with the symptoms for a long times probably means you've developed some maladaptive coping methods. It's going to take time to find better coping methods, give yourself time and ask your wife and kids( depending on the ages) to help. Find out about family therapy but also keep up with the individual therapy.