Hi catlover, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I'm familiar with all you mentioned, some days are better and worse than others. I've been in a sad/numb/ lost place for the last couple of weeks. Often I can not pin point why, and maybe there is no point in asking why.
I put a lot of shoulds on myself, I should be feeling this or that, I should be able to get up and go to work. Doesn't make it better though.
I think it's about just moving through it all.
Are you seeing a therapist at all?
Sorry I have nothing to really make a difference except that yes, I do understand how you are feeling and you are not alone in that