I don't like this distance. I don't like that I can't feel like I'm actually *in* my life. I feel like I'm just watching a bad b-movie.
I really wanted to give you that journal before I actually walked in. Then it lost it''s "value"... I don't connect to it. I don't connect to anything we are talking about, or anything I do... It's really frustrating. :/
It feels weird, like I can't reliably process things into a more long-term memory. And I'm aware of it, so it's annoying. I know things happen, I know I have emotions, or go places, or think about thing, but once it's over, I can;t recall it. I don't recognize what I wrote about either, at least, not in the sense that it was something "I" wrote.
I don;t know how to fix this. I don't like it at all.