wow. HUGS.

You are Bipolar. The events of your last many years brought it out but it was dormant in you.

Thank goodness you are getting away from that. the fact of the matter is, she was abusing you. Mental abuse at least. You're going to need to come to terms with that over time. I don't think you mentioned a counsellor or anything to talk to (other than the pdoc)? If that's possible, you need to find one.