Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I guess I don't see what the first one I see does as mirroring because it is never the point of what I was saying in the first place and secondly - no **** - so ****ing what? I am not an idiot - I know I don't like to be humiliated. I don't need a therapist to tell me that. If she wanted to do an accurate mirroring =she could say "I see you don't find it useful when I state the obvious and treat you like you are a moron"
These statements she makes are NOT the point of what I am trying to get at. Her statements make it seem like she is NOT listening to what I am saying.
I don't feel heard, affirmed, validated or listened to when she says these sorts of pointless, obvious, useless pap that have NOTHING at all to do with the point I am trying to get across.
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Stopdog it made me laugh out loud what you said here, as it mirrors (pun intended) my experience with the many different therapists I've had the misfortune to pay for their non existent expertise.
Too many of them don't know how (or can't be bothered) to listen and even less are even remotely interested in understanding what they are hearing (note to anyone who is thinking of jumping in at this point and defending the therapy industry, I am talking about my own experience with over thirty therapists not other people's Ts).
I am constantly amazed at how I can be so clear to the point of repetitive pedantry about what I need from them, and how what they do say is usually not only irrelevant and unhelpful but also damaging at times, and yet they take no notice, carry on as if what I'm desperately trying to explain to them is of no import, no value, no relevance itself.
I've just put myself back into therapy after a year out and have had three sessions so far, already the idiot has made several judgmental and critical comments that have undermined the faith and trust I did bring with me to our first meeting. I feel like shaking him and saying, hey it's me here, you don't know who I am so quit loading your preconceived text book judgements onto me. And try actually
listening to what I am telling you. Then maybe you could earn the right to point out things that you think I might need to know. Grrrrrrrr.
I expect I shall pull myself out of therapy before too long too. When I left the last T last year, I reckoned I was done with therapy for good. Hope springs eternal and all that **** eh?
Stopdog, don't you ever get really angry with your therapist? To the point of wanting to just get out of there?
I found that the one thing therapists are really good at, is invalidating and criticizing and blocking anger directed at them. So a perfectly valid and in fact necessary aspect of therapy, along with the (in)ability to listen, is also excluded. Makes me wonder what value therapy actually could have. A question I'm right now struggling with as I have a fourth session with new T tomorrow and finding myself going round and round in angry imaginary conversations with him about the irrelevant ******** he spouted last session.