So update. My bf already knew I don't want kids but feels I may consider adoption or a surrogate in the future. Idk if I will or won't 5 or more years from now. Guess my main issues now are that I still have no sex drive and he's not unattractive. But I still have to fight myself from turning away when he kisses me and I don't like feeling that way I want to feel the ability to be affectionate again.