Ya I have days like that when I think of all the in patient wards I have been on which is a ton. And cops getting involved a couple of times which is not fun and it seems there are always people around to see and make it embarrassing on top of all of it. The ones that are the hardest to remember were the 2 times I had to be restrained with leather strap on a metal bed sunk into the concrete floor. It seemed kinda unnecessary that they did it but if that was what they thought they needed to do to keep every one safe I do not hold it against them. And the impact of memories gets better with time at least for me it has I hope it does for you too

take care