So does every human being who has much to do with this man. Of course, you're not alone. But getting affirmation that you are not alone will do nothing to help the situation. But, if that's all you want, then: okay you're right that there is something very profoundly wrong with your husband . . . call it what you will. Yes he's got a personality disorder.

Notice that he and the daughter have been doing this tango for a very long time and, yet, they are still interacting. He hasn't killed the daughter yet. But they are getting nowhere because there is not the essential ingredient of LOVE.

No, he's not going back to AA. He's not going to learn any principles they teach. But you can go to Al-Anon. You can learn principles that will much better guide your behavior. Then he will have to adjust to that. And he will. If he were totally incapable of adjusting, he'ld be in prison by now.