Oh HOkie! I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've read your other posts about the things you've been dealing with ! You've been through alot already, that does prove you love him.

Forgiveness comes with time. Take the time you need. It seems that you're doing things by his time and you can't forget about you. As far as his unfaithfulness, I would definitely run to my doc too and get tested. I know you don't view it as his fault, but assigning or not assigning fault doesn't change the fact that it is a very dangerous world out there sexually these days.

Ive been in a monogamous relationship for 10 years with my husband, but if ever there was a doubt, I wouldnt' have sex with him again unprotected. Look out for yourself.

Please take care and I sure hope you get some good things happening soon.

(((Hugs))) If wanted