I'm really glad that you are doing ok and if you can get what you'd like as a gift I think that's harmless. (I looked at the ring and so it is following me as the ad on every webpage today. It's pretty but I bet there are prettier ones out there).

I don't know if this is true for you but sometimes I want to buy things just to show myself I'm not as poor as I am. I don't because I am terrified of debt and it seems like if for some reason there is one financial issue 3 more will pop up. I've gotten around this somewhat by doing swagbucks. It lets me earn giftcards and so I have something each month to throw around on things not in my budget. Not a lot but enough I can buy something on itunes or get the expensive hair care products that work best with my wildly curly hair (cheap stuff doesn't do much for that unfortunately) or buy a book or this last month essential oil diffuser and an oil. This month will be boring and will go to paying down shoes and a bra I had no choice but to buy but that's ok too; better than that just adding to the credit card debt I'm trying so hard to pay off.

I hope that you are able to find some peace with this issue. I used to want to be destructive when manic in any way I could come up with. To make it safe my therapist started me on shredding phone books. I'd do it until my hands were hurting but it did keep me from moving on to worse things. (When I owned my home I always wanted to take on ambitious home improvement projects when manic, usually late at night and usually using tools not ideal for someone as impulsive and out of control as I was. Not doing that was a big thing for me to learn because nothing good ever came of it.)