My first thought when reading your post and the comments was, how sad it is that we live in a culture that causes us to wonder if we are crazy to have questions related to spirituality. I then thought about how mysterious and superstitious the search for understanding is, how vague the answers can be, how, mixing a spiritual quest with normal life demands, can be a difficult mix, and the way misunderstanding and 'testing' the truths we are on the verge of, can put us in compromising positions with the straight and narrow.

It sounds to me like there is a part of you that is being unfulfilled and you are seeking a deeper meaning to life and I believe it's entirely the truth that finding a spiritual purpose is something that adds dimension and depth to the experience of existence and it is something that can create a strong connection between an individual and their surroundings. So, it's sad when we question if these feelings means we're crazy.

I do however, caution that some of the energy that is aroused by the experience, being so not of the cut and dried, non spiritual way of existing, can tend to pull a person away from what the rest of society considers correct behavior.

If you can find a way to explore your inquisitiveness and not depart from the road of staying in line with self care, these explorations can eventually lead you into a life of deep purpose.