I really do!!

We've been together almost 20 years and I can't stand him.

We have 4 children. Two are mine from a previous relationship and twins are ours. The 2 older left right when they where 16, they were sick of him yelling and picking on them.

The twins are starting to get defiant and talk back to him because they are sick of him yelling and swearing all the time.

He has never ever spent any one on one time with the girls. Everyday I spend at least an hour or two with them.

He wakes up in the morning and wants the world to cater to him. He is never wrong about anything. If he doesn't like something that you do, he will put down or tease.

Oh and btw he doesn't work. He has worked 3 yrs out of 20. He claims he gets migraine headaches and he has gluecoma. He has been denied benefits and now is waiting for a hearing in July. He thinks he is going to get a huge payday and then monthly benefits. We live on 1200 (before rent and bills) a month and I work full time.

I'm so tired after a 10 hr shift and he is lying on the bed shoving chips down his throat! He will not do any chores. My house looks like a scene from Horders and he can't get off his lazy *** after playing XBox for 8 hours. I don't think I'm asking too much to keep the house tidy if I'm working full time.

He comes from a hard working middle class family and no one has ever told him to grow up and support his family.

He is always angry!! And every second word is "****" now one of the twins is swearing and I plead with her to stop and she says why should I, you can't get dad to stop. And they won't tidy up either because dad doesn't.

I suffer from really bad depression and I had a therapist call me to do a pre appointment and he stood outside the door and listened. She asked me a question about him and I answered truthfully and when I was done he started to yell and scream at me. I never went to therapy.

A couple of years ago I told him I wanted to end it. He called his mom and she started to yell at him that I was just "fussing" and if he was leaving that he should turn off the utilities that are in his name.

He has never shown me love and kindness. He hasn't said he loves me or kiss me in 5+ yrs. When he wants sex, he starts to talk dirty to me, several times a day until I give in. Or he will hug me and shove his hand down my pants. UGH!

I don't know if he has physically cheated on me but I've read many texts between him and another woman. He texts her every morning and says "good morning beautiful". Last Mother's Day he told her " Happy Mother's Day to the sexiest mom I know". Gee, thanks asshole!!!

Now do you see why I hate him?!