Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemystery
About 5 years ago, I made a deal with my dad that I would try out 10 episodes of his favorite TV show because he really wanted me to try it. Then he said if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have to watch it anymore. I didn't like it-- sci-fi isn't my genre. Anyway, my dad has asked a few times every year since then if I'll try the show again, and I always say no and remind him I don't like it. He says I didn't give it a fair shot, and basically says anyone would like it. It involves some gory things like worms coming out of someone's stomach, and I hate watching any violence or gory things. He tries to argue with me about why I'll like it, but I've always hated sci-fi. I've offered to watch a show that we both like together. My dad has said multiple times "there's no way you're my daughter" or "you can't be my daughter" since I hate sci-fi. I'm adamant against watching this show because I think he's not respecting my answer and always wanted his kids to be interested in what he is interested in. He has tried to manipulate me by saying he would do what his father asked, and that if i'm so inflexible on this I'm bound to have problems in future relationships. He has said he doesn't ask much of me. He has even asked if I would on his birthday, which is in 6 months. I said no-- I am setting limits because I think my dad needs to respect that I will not like the show. My dad has guilt-tripped me my whole life and has always been controlling. Maybe my resistance is partially coming from a huge history. But do you think I'm being unreasonable and ungrateful about this?
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The part that bothers me the most is the idea that he's this hung on you being interested in something as trivial as a tv show. He sounds very much like my father that forced his children to be interested in and join him in every little interest he had, from music to photography to heck, he MADE my brother and I join the martial arts he was interested in at the time! I hated it.
Thing is he's telling you taht you'll have issues in future relationships but honestly, the truth is, as you are, able to stand up to someone making you do something, that's called independence and something every relationship can use a lot more of. There is far too much molding and codependence in so many relationships today... You're doing the right thing standing up to him and saying no. Don't let his bs get to you.
He has an issue with self. Clearly without the validation of someone else enjoying the same things as him, he feels he is missing something. that, IMO is far more telling about the flaw in his personality or character than it does about you being able to make your own decisions on what you like
Hang in there and stand strong.