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Every time I get a reply back from a resume I sent out I cry and do not want to go on the interview. I regress to a child like feeling of fear and dread. I have done two interiews so far, one I did not get called back for and the other one that put me through a two hour interview including a practical, wants to hire me and I filled out their online application and background check form. I have an interview on Monday because for some reason I seem to have a problem with big chain gyms. I moved into the field of personal training. Now another gym just contacted me and wants to schedule a formal interview next week. I flipped out, lost my mind, went into a panic, contacted my T from my home state, whined to my husand who for the life of him does not understand what the f**ck my issue is.
I think I just do not want to work perhaps. I went through what felt like a year of being triggered contantly and now just made a big move to another state just 3 weeks ago. I think my mind and body just want peace.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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