OK, wisewoman, you and dalila have GOT to stop making me cry. ;-)

Thank you both for your support and understanding. It does help. My T is taking teensy-tiny little baby steps with me on this issue, and even those are freaking me out enormously. I tell myself that if I can't say it or write it down, then it must not be real, because I *REALLY* want to believe that it's not, even though I know it is.

God, just writing this I need a Zyprexa. Or two. ;-)

It's good to have people who understand. Thank you.

Candy