I hope too that it will be enough to not get married. I will be firm that I will not go back to Islam. I have seen and heard bad stories both on the news and from people who have been in a marriage with an abuser in Islam or third world country. I used to be fearless before because I was very naive and trusting, didnt know that people could be so evil and treat someone so heartless. The last 4 years has opened my eyes and I know now that people "can" be that heartless and that there are many horrible dangerous situations.
I must be wise enough to not get tricked into a loveless marriage again where he only wants a green card. I pray God to protect me from more pain and to save me from a loveless marriage. I was naive and though there would be love even one marry quickly. But I have learned that its important to get to know the man first. To know that he is a good person and not someone who has bad intentions. Its right I was infatuated with him. I attach very quickly, but I have gotten wiser and I am not naive anymore. There are wolves in sheeps clothing everywhere.
There is a longer story why I converted to Islam. The man ( also a muslim ) I met after my xhusband said I had to convert if we should get married, but he fooled me and lied to me and only used me for sex. I was infatuated with him too, but his personality got so disgusting with time that I had to withdraw and leave him. I converted partly because I wished to get married with him and partly because I thought Islam also believed in jesus death and resurrection. I was foolish and hoped so much for love. I have grown in many ways. I have learned that I need to be true to myself and that I am worth being loved for being me. I have learned that I dont have to change anything about myself to be loved. That if someone loves me they will love me for me, that if they dont like something about me then they just have to go. I have heard from others that it doesnt work for me to be nice as I easily get manipulated otherwise.
My xhusband doesnt want us to live there, he wants us to live here in my country. This is why its a too big risk for me to marry him. I know there would be worse risks if we should live there and if he would manipulate me into marriage without getting defensive. But I think he wants the green card more than anything. A year ago he talked about what a dream it would be to be here for only one day. Never did he say he would long to be with me. The fact he said out of the blue he may want to go to Australia when he had me, his wife, working with the papers here is unbelievable.
I was mixing religion with culture when you mentioned his abuse/culture. I am sorry about that and I know more what you meant now. I agree that since they have arranged marriages they often marry without love. His first x fiance and him was arranged.
The rest like saying he would go to australia and sending me threats to make the papers or I have lost him and all that is disordered thinking.
I have not read about how they treat people who has left Islam, but I will make research. Thank you for making me aware and thank you for your prayers. It is true God tells us not to marry into situations where we are unequally yoked. I dont think that he would convert to my religion. They even refuse to read in the Bible which is sad. If they did they would get to see history and the true Jesus.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
I think this will definitely be enough with just this for the marriage to NEVER happen....as long as you are firm that you WILL NOT convert back before ever getting to the point of marriage. You need to be firm in your belief.......even if he were to say it would be ok for you to not convert.....honestly, you would be putting yourself in a very dangerous physical place at that point & a bad marriage would be the least of your problems......don't know if you are aware of the feelings toward Christians in that area of the world......you would have to be not paying attention to any news not to know how dangerous it is.....but for your own safety it would be foolish even if he would accept that you wouldn't convert or even if he would tell you that to trick you into coming....you need to know better than to get tricked again.
You definitely didn't even know him long enough to even KNOW him.....& definitely not long enough to ever know that what you were feeling was love....love grows it's not something that just happens without knowing the person.....that is called infatuation or wishful thinking that you are wishing it would turn out the way you DREAM.....but remember, DREAMS are NOT REALITY.....& you seriously need to get in touch with reality....& the reality of that area of the world in relation to your beliefs. When we don't research & get to know things before we do them....that's when things like converting to something you don't even believe happens because you had no idea even what you were being asked to convert to.....You definitely need to start becoming more knowledgeable about the things you are getting involved in & honestly....the difference in religion should be a huge enough thing for you to not even play the games you are playing with him to get him to not want to marry you.....those things you are requesting he can so easily lie to you about to get you to go along with the marriage....you really need to stand on something a lot more firm than that IMO......& your safety in the country he wants you to live in with your beliefs should be scary enough for you to never even consider messing around trying to manipulate him to rethink asking you to get married.
My heart & my prayers are with you in this & asking God to give you the strength to stand up for your beliefs strong enough so that they are what gives you the strength to say NO....& that you know that your safety is really what is on the line if he were to not get defensive but want to manipulate you into marriage....that would prove that he doesn't care about you because he doesn't care about your safety.....he knows exactly how the people in his country act toward people who have chosen to LEAVE his belief......& it's NOT a good picture no matter how he tries to paint it for you to see.....do your own research & you will see. ....know it's not easy since you just said that not long ago you were born again....but holding onto that is so much more important than being married to someone who doesn't care.....remember, God tells us not to marry into a situation where we are unequally yoked......that means of differing beliefs....God warns.....we need to pay attention to that warning...especially in situations like this. |