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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
this part
in a way contradicts the idea that you're saying that you can count on them and taht they are always there to help. perhaps they always do help but that comment implies there is some resentment in you, in them or all around. The idea that you can say "I can't blame them" says to me that you have a rather low opinion of yourself and it doesn't help with relationships in which you need support from others. It puts you in a situation where you're a bit of a subordinate to others rather than equals. Unlike two equal and mutually respecting friends, where the support is never limited, or conditional nor do the two either get "tired of one's sh**"
Just because they are family does not mean they are the best fit for gaining support from.
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I think I explained myself poorly this time, my apologies. None of them have said that they are sick of my s**t, I assume that they are because I can see how tired they look when I act out(?). My mother, who is Bipolar herself runs out of patience faster then she used to and snaps at me more often. Maybe I see this as them being tired of dealing with me because I
do have a low opinion of myself and I'm a bit paranoid when it comes to interpersonal relationships and maybe it's other stresses in
her life causing her to be short with me.
I'm sorry your extended family wouldn't be very accepting. My mother's side has a long history of mental illness, so they are a lot more accepting. I keep my father's side at arms length because I don't think they would be very accepting, either.
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I would say self discovery, is a great help in understanding who you are, what you do and why you do the things that you say damage others around you. The more you know and understand yourself, regardless of if you ever have a full recovery from your issues, the more you'll be able to learn to cope with things and do things to avoid such damaging situations. Know yourself. Accept what and who you are.
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This is great advice, and something I've been working on. I used to know exactly who I was and loved that person, but I haven't been her in a sure a long time that I don't know if I can find my way back to that person, or if I'm even meant to.