I'm sorry you are finding life so confusing. Both you pdoc and T should have diagnosed you by now since they have to have a diagnosis to put on insurance claim forms, so if you want to put a label to it just ask them. I can understand that it is hard to build a sense of trust in such limited time constraints. A lot of us on PC have trust and abandonment issues. I think that it kind of goes along with mental illness.

As far as who and what you are, it sounds like to me that you are a very sensitive knowledgeable person, who wants to get better by reaching out to others. You are someone that is important.