I’ve recently started to use my fb profile. I opened my profile in 2011, but never posted anything, not even a picture. I just used it to get informed about school and now college. When I was in high school, my classmates used to make remarks about me not using my profile. But back then my anxiety was much worse so I didn’t try to make an online presence.
So now that I’m a little better (at least when it comes to my social anxiety), I was looking at other people’s profiles. And obviously since this is social media, people post pictures with their friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, families etc. And that got me depressed since I don’t have close relations with anybody. Anyways I tried to look for other options, like writing statuses or posting songs or liking articles. But all of that just seems pointless to me.
I think that me wanting to make this effort, to try to function online(to chat, to post things online, to like someone’s picture, etc ) is just sign that I’ve become desperate because I fantasize about making friends through fb, reunite with some family members, even try to meet a guy I can date. But at same time I’m aware that I’ve pushed (almost) everyone out. Still at least I would want to apologize to some people for some of the things I did and I think fb could actually be the only way.