I agree that going for a drive is not bad typically. It is one of my favorite things to do. Trouble is, I am more than prohibited from doing it in the wee hours of the morning because it usually means my mood is more than a little off. Therefore, I am usually driving far faster than the speed limit and for potentially hours at a time. It worries my husband greatly (rightfully so). I'm...just being thoughtful and careful, ya know? (ha, I'm kidding, I'm not careful, just worried. Being a worrywart helps some when you are out of your mind). Plus, today my husband locked the door and when I asked him what he was doing he told me he was counting money. I said oh, how much do you have in your garage fund now (he is a mechanic and we need a bigger garage so he can work at home more)? He told me how much and said "well, there'd be an entire grand more if you hadn't had your little spending spree." OOPS! He was mostly kidding, but it looks like he was counting, and he doesn't know about all of it. I told him we'd work out a deal.

I agree with you entirely about the meds. I was serious about wanting to flush them but I won't do it. And, for the last few days, instead of feeling ever so miserable, I've just felt sly, and sexy, and busy, and ****ing in raptures. I keep forgetting to take them. I feel like Susan Sarandon: Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me (just saying) and if it doesn't subside, I will probably end up in the hospital. Thankfully, my pdoc told me and also told me to tell my t that I have been at this long enough to know when I need to be hospitalized or not. My t asked if that was freeing. Or if I felt proud of that. Truthfully, at the time, it both scared me and made me very grateful. It was not freeing and I did not feel proud. But, it's funny nonetheless. I just had to say.

This post has taken me a very, very, very, very long time to write. Thank you for responding. Raspberry!