"T says because of the abandonments by both mothers (birth and adoptive) she's not sure what would did hold me enough to prevent psychosis.
She doesn't know why I'm not pyschotic given my history.
She also says, when I say I'm not artistic or creative, that I am very creative, because of the way I found a way to raise my children so well without having had a positive experience of healthy parenting myself."

"Babies come into this world in an Unintergrated state. A mothers 'holding' intergrates us and helps us make sense of the world.
T said this didn't happen to you. You and your adoptive mother fell in and out of disintergration and I think you would have used dissociation to defend against feelings of disintergration. "

Mouse,

I am so sorry you are struggling, too.

Thank you and your T for this. I am going through something similar and your post is helping me understand what my T was saying yesterday.