I can't speak of your welfare issues in the system, and I've only been hospitalized once after one year of a nightmare of a psychosis. I have trouble letting go of the past sometimes too. What helps me is to find or create a narrative, a book that makes you see things a little different. As long as man acts he errs. The story must go on. You seemed to react well to a different Faust passage. This one resonated with me during my psychosis.

It's after Margaret commits infanticide and the community condemns this poor 15 year old girl for it, and sentences her to death. Here she is, in the dungeon where Faust breaks in and tries to break her from her shackles. However, the prison is in her head, that she cannot escape. Faust says take one step out of here but she can't take that step outside of her guilt and shame. That's what ultimately kills her.

Faust's words: Let the past be past.

These words coming from one of thee greatest writers ever, western civilization's last polymath, meant a lot to me.

http://www.amazon.com/Faust-Johann-W...ds=faust+kline This is the best translation out of the four that I've read.

Margaret: You’ll loose the chains,
And take me to your breast, again.
How is it you don’t shrink from me?
Do you know, friend, whom you free? 4505
Faust: Come! Come! The night will soon be over.
Margaret: I’ve killed my mother,
I’ve drowned my child.
Was it not given to you and I?
You too. - You here! I scarce believe. 4510
Give me your hand! This is no dream.
Your dear hand! – Ah, but it’s damp!
Wipe it clean! Why do I think,
It has blood on.
Ah God! What have you done? 4515
Put your sword away,
I beg you, please!
Faust: Let past be past I say!
You’re destroying me!
Margaret: No you must live on: must do. 4520
I’ll describe our graves to you.
You must begin them
This very dawn:
The best one is for my mother,
Then, by her, my brother, 4525
Myself, a little further, lay,
But not too far away!
And the little one, at my right breast.
No one else by me will lie! –
Ah, to nestle at your side, 4530
That was a sweet, a darling bliss!
But no more will I achieve it:
It’s as if I must force you to it,
As if you turn aside my kiss:
And yet it’s you, so good, so sweet to see! 4535
Faust: You know it is, so come with me!
Margaret: Out there?
Faust: To Freedom.
Margaret: If the grave is there,
Death waiting, then I come!
From here to everlasting rest, 4540
And not a step further would
You go now? O Heinrich, if I could!
Faust: You can! Just will it! The door is open!
Margaret: I dare not: there’s no hope for me then. What use is flight? They lie in wait for me. 4545
To be forced to beg is a bitter existence,
And cursed too with an evil conscience!
To wander among strangers, bitter,
And even then I’d still be captured!
Faust: I’ll stay beside you. 4550
Margaret: Quickly! Quickly!
Save my poor baby!
Away! Down the ridge,
Now, by the brook,
Over the bridge, 4555
Into the wood,
Left, where the plank is,
There, in the pool.
Seize it now: you!
It’s trying to rise, 4560
It’s moving still!
Save it! Save it!
Faust: Be sensible!
Only one step, and then you’re free!