Alcohol has led to the downfall of many marriages.

Some anti-depressants are better than others. I came to the stage that anti-depressants were preferable to slowly killing my liver, even if the ADs seemed to work slower. THE RESULTS ARE WORTH IT! I was sleeping 16 hours a day before I put my full trust in antidepressants. I have much more energy now. You have to discover which one is right for you. Discuss your concerns with your T.

Drinking to numb your emotions is very addictive...and dangerous. Also, you may feel you are not "accountable" to anyone now, but there is no way you can keep this sort of thing a secret forever. My two closest friends knew I drank like a fish, but I was very defensive about it...out of guilt and shame. And you are accountable to someone. You are accountable to the man you married. How do you think he would feel if he knew you were drinking? At least one of my friends hit the roof. And I denied I had a problem, at least to my friends, but I couldn't deny it to myself.

I don't know you or your husband, but I speak from experience. You cannot keep this secret forever. Would you rather stop now? Or would you rather he find you unconscious on the floor of your house from an overdose, take you to emergency and find out that way?

I got drunk once and fell out of my wheelchair and my friend had to pick me up off the floor. Accidents will happen, no matter how well you think you are hiding your drinking. Someone will find out eventually.

You are much better off on anti-depressants. If you are having problems coping with your emotions in therapy, then perhaps some sort of support group is in order. There is no shame in it. There are mental health organizations IRL and on-line that have such groups. It is best not to stay isolated when undergoing intensive therapy or a crisis. You need as much support as you can get.

Trust me, relying on the bottle leads only to grief. Antidepressants lead to relief.