(((((( irishsj ))))))))
unfourtunately you cant put something like that behind you and out of your head completely. i have tried it, but it only makes you more miserable when you think about again. knowing the truth can be horrible and confusing. but just know that there was nothing you could have done. and try to accept that you were a victom. and you are not alone. i hope that the truth will settle the constant unbearing feelings that have been with you since it all happened.
please feel better, it just takes time, even though that time will feel like forever, just stay strong.