@amandalouise thanks for the tip on sanity score. I know that online tests are in no way a diagnostic tool but the score I got made me questing whether or not I should look deeper into it. Knowing that its not a constant result kind of test, I don't trust it at all now. But that still leaves me with the stories I've read on this forum that I relate to. Still confused...
Also, thanks for the definition of grounding techniques. Turns out I use grounding (I count my prayer beads)but I've never heard the term grounding techniques before.
@alwayschanging2 when I say I see a monster in the mirror, that is a metaphor. Which is why I go on to say some strange, alien man. By this I do not mean space alien, I see a human man but he is so totally alien to me that there is no possible way it is truly my own reflection. This is also the case with pictures of "me" the images are always the same, but never me. This is why I say this body is my prison. By this I mean I feel as though I am trapped or confined inside of this body. I feel like this ALL THE TIME. Does that sound familiar for dissociation? Or does it sound more like psychosis? (Which I have been diagnosed with) Again, I am very confused right now because I thought I knew what I had, but the stories here sound so familiar to my own experiences that its making me question things. I'll try to remember to write more clearly in the future. But its very difficult to explain what I'm going through without sounding like either a liar, or a complete lunatic