I've never experienced psychosis, so my heart goes out to you and everyone that has had to go thru that. I think you said something about going on antidepressants, be careful for me and other BPers it can induce mania. I really don't understand why you were not initially put on a mood stabilizer? That is usually the first step pdocs take. I'm on lamictal and have had no side effects and I've read others on here that have not had side effects as well. I've been on almost every AP and am allergic to five of them. I'm currently on Seroquel for the second time and my pdoc is trying to see if I can come off it because I haven't experienced psychosis. I want off because it has caused me to be pre-diabetic and have high triglycerides. Seroquel has worked for me but does cause the zombie affect for me. Coming off has made me so sick every time I go down in dosage. I tried latuda a year ago and experienced akathasia and I have had other long term problems as well. I understand your frustration and my heart goes out to you. I just wanted to let you know that lamictal has been a positive drug for me, and maybe that is an option?