FAIR WARNING: There is some sexual content here. Not too in depth, but just be forewarned so if you prefer not to read it then you can go ahead and click off this post for your own comfort! =)

Okay, right...so I have a pretty big sex drive. I think it's usually quite normal for me, however, I would say that maybe it increases when I drink cause I get hypomanic (I have Bipolar 2). Well...I get cocky as all hell when I am drinking. Sometimes other times too. I just feel like I'm so hot and I can get anyone in the club/bar to kiss me or have sex with me if I tried to. I even feel like that sober sometimes.

Last night I was SO CLOSE to having sex. But let me be straight up--as staight as I can be since I'm a lesbian lol--, I'm never disrespectful to girls. I'm always
honest about my intentions and I won't do anything against their will. See, I'm not as asshole. I'm cocky as all hell, but I'm not an asshole. This girl was teasing the crap out of me. She would only let me touch her boobs and she mine. No kissing or anything else. Whenever I tried she would stop me and be like "I'm not a thought." I didn't understand...other than maybe she just wasn't into hooking up and having it be a one time thing? Or maybe she didn't like that we were drunk? Anyway...after everything we didn't bring it up again yet. I wonder if I should? Or should I just like leave it be like it never happened (even though I distinctly remember telling her that I would have sex with her when I was sober...and that still stands no doubt).

In the meantime, I was texting two other girls throughout the night. I was flirting with two of them pretty hardcore, but they weren't quite returning it. I already texted them sober to say sorry if I was awkward but that I did actually mean what I said.

So...I'm not really regreting anything BUT I wish that girl woulda let me go further and am curious if I should pursue it further now that we're both sober and both in the area for a little bit longer. I mean...idk? I am honest with her. She knows I would be up to getting to know her, but that a relationship isn't my top priority but it's almost like she has a problem with that. It confuses me a lot.

With the two girls I was flirting with, I doubt anything is going to happen.

Alas, I think A LOT of this is just coming from a high sex drive. Especially from getting all worked up last night with no real success in the end.

Should this be a problem? Or am I maybe just okay with sex in a way that some/most people aren't? A little casual sex...is it something to be ashamed of? Society seems to think so. I've been called a slut before for my intentions at the least. I've kissed more grils than I've actually had sex with, but that seemed to give me a bit of reputation. Apparently I do some sort of sexy thing with my eyes that makes girls want me. All I know is I really want to have sex like soon. The end. XD