I would tell your boyfriend your problems and see if you can work on them together. I know you said you cannot afford counselling at all but maybe the two of you can afford couples counselling that might help or maybe you can go see someone for a time or two and see if they have any ideas -- counselling does not have to be long-term or particularly expensive and I cannot imagine that a city as big as the one you live in doesn't have something that might help: Home | MentalHealthKC