hmm...

do you know why she won't negotiate?

i'm asking because... i understand that therapists have got to make a living i surely surely do but when it comes to trauma work... there is such a thing as 'non optimal frequency hence more traumatising than it needs to be'. experiencing significant anxiety before your sessions (for up to four days before your sessions) sounds pretty horrible to me. it also sounds pretty understandable given that you only get to see her once every two weeks.

i understand that therapists have got to make a living... but i also think that therapists have some obligations to do the best they can by their clients.

it could be worth going through the process to see another therapist? i know that you get on great with her... i'm wondering... (i say this very gently)... whether she might be 'comfortable' in that she is recapitulating some of the negligence that you have found in your past. whether she is reinforcing some of your core beliefs about being unworthy of more and generally undeserving.

sorry if i'm planting seeds that aren't there for you. i just know that in my position... i'd have a really hard time building trust when i'm seeing them that infrequently and i'd have such an immensely hard time doing trauma work when sessions are that infrequent.

i mean... one bad session with a feeling of disconnection... and that is one month without a feeling of connection. too long... too long...