I began my journey with my girlfriend at a church where we were both invited to. We barely knew each other. She was having a hard day, crying over something. I am bipolar schizoaffective, and I don't know if this has anything to do with this story,.. but I asked God to let us marry someday. I know I was jumping too quickly into something when I think back. But with a history of impulsive moves, I can understand how my disorder plays into that.

I got her phone number a few days later and called her at work, and asked if she would want to go on a date. We dated for several months, and then I made another impulsive move - we were making out in the car, and finally we decided to have sex.

I have very strong beliefs against sex before marriage. And I struggled with myself for weeks and weeks because I went against my morals. I wanted to just have a friendship and I told her that, because I didn't want to keep having sex. She didn't want that to happen, she felt very hurt that I would suggest that. And I can see why. What a mess I was getting into because I acted impulsively!

Fast forward 6 years. We have talked marriage and our situation is very hard to explain, but it seems we can't find a way to marry. I am disabled because of my condition, and my meds are very very expensive, along with dr appointments and labwork, the marriage and combining our incomes would kick us off of my medical plan which covers all of that. And we crunched numbers, and we wouldn't be able to afford the new Affordable Care Plans.

So we aren't married, and she is still saying I am stuck with her forever. I am beginning to think she would be better off meeting someone else who can marry her and take care of her better than I can. I almost want to break the relationship off so that someday she doesn't look back and say, "I wasted my life and never married anybody."

I am needing some advice.