Hmm, Trace, you certainly were drawn to some very challenging careers in your life. You wanted to overcome "something" in these places. Often a person can have a hidden drive that he/she may not quite know "why", but seems to need to be involved with a high stress environment. This "could be" attached to growing up in and environment were it was stressful and unpredictible, example, parents always fighting and creating some kind of stress of an "unpredictible" environment that became a child's normal.

Perhaps your "normal" was that of being in a high stressed unpredictable situation and you did ok with that until it hit "home" with you. Seeing one's own family member in a trauma situation is actually very different than seeing someone one doesn't really know.
That is enough to present you with a trauma that was one you could not really handle so you are now "detached" and dazed. Also, what is probably taking place with you is "could you have done something that might have changed what happened?". There is a significant difference between addressing the aftermath of something traumatic that has happened and addressing a situation where you know the individual and now you can think back on what signs this individual was expressing that you missed somehow. There is a huge difference between "trauma outside one's personal life" and "inside one's personal life".

You need to find your way towards healing from whatever you feel you may not have done that could have changed the outcome of the trauma "inside your own family circle".