Hi! I'm new here I don't want to get deep into my past circumstances quite yet, but there's something that's been really bugging me and I thought I might get some insight here at least.

I'm in my late 20's now, but I am seriously craving all things childish/tween. I've been starting to read kid's books (right now I'm pretty into American Girl books). I love going to toy stores and have gotten a few stuffed animals and new clothes for one of my old dolls. I'm kind of thin, and I can fit into clothing from the girl's section, and so have been shopping there a little more frequently.

I don't know how to fully explain it. I'm just really obsessed with being younger again. It's been going on for a while. I try to keep it in check. I don't want to go overboard. But inside, I almost feel jealous of kids. I see girls riding bikes in the neighborhood, shopping, whatever, and feel so much yearning to go back to that kind of life. I want girl talk and sleepovers and innocence. It's totally not like a creepy paedophilia kind of thing!! I want to make that clear. It's just like I have a strong feeling that I want to be one of the girls again. I want to be that age and get to do all of those things. I want to have to worry about homework, and soccer practice, and making friendship bracelets for my best fried. I take walks in the evening and see all these great families having dinner together or hanging out in their yards, etc. and just SO want that. You know?

I don't know. It's weird. I'm having a super hard time growing up and feeling like an adult. I have a lot of stress and responsibility in my life, and I am completely responsible and adult-like most of the time, but I feel like that's not the real me. I'm playing a role then.

I almost feel like I have two different people inside of me...one that lives in the real word and is pretty adult and well adjusted, and then the younger girl who feels like she's not getting enough time to be herself. I don't know if that makes sense at all, haha. I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to figure out what type of condition might cause this sort of thing. I've Googled it a little and it seems like sometimes people with Borderline Personality Disorder have feelings like this, but when I look at the other symptoms, it doesn't always sound like me. I guess this could be considered a change in identity perception? But I don't really have too many impulsive behaviors, and my relationships are okay. I have a great husband and a good marriage. I don't have many friends, but there might be lots of reasons right now for that. I got all the way through college. I don't know. I just don't think that's what is going on.

But I'd really love to find more out about this whole wanting to be a kid again thing. I'm hoping someone here can help give me some ideas. Thank you!