Today the term "Mother's Day" is a source of pain so profound I cannot describe it so you understand.

I went to someone to help bring my son and I together. He was to help us with meetings where we could be together and understand each other and go back to sharing our lives like before.

We had 15 minutes together in the meeting set up for us.

The next 5 hours sessions with my son did not include me; it was just my son and the traitor who either let or lead my son to believe that the hateful things I say due to my BPD are deliberate and done purposely to hurt him.

All the evidence of my love for him has been overwritten by him - vanished.

After 15 minutes with my son he is gone forever. How, otherwise, could this have happened?

I know I did not say those things to hurt him, I did not even CHOOSE to say those things but there is no going back.

The traitor took from my who I am

I am no longer mother

I am alone on the outside - there was nothing left to take from me but my son and now he is gone.

I wish it were possible to just choose not to breathe, but to sleep forever.