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I don't post much on Facebook either. I never do anything worth posting. I mostly on check it to find out what my daughter is doing and a few friends. The instant messaging on Facebook could help you with your apologies, I guess but it would also work if you just wrote a note or called them. Some of us just aren't social butterflies. I'm like you though, I wish I could relate to other more, but I just can't get the hang of it.
I'm really glad that you posted on PC.
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gayleggg, thanks for the reply. I was thinking the same thing about trying to do the apologies through instant messaging. I'll just have to mentally prepare myself first, do some breathing exercises, think about what to write etc.
I don't how it is in the USA, but from what I've seen people naturally don't socialize that much as they age. For instance my parents don't have active social lives, even though they don't have any mental issues. When people start getting married and having children, they turn their attention to family and work. They only see their friends during the hollidays.
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everything I post on fb is impersonal and interest related. sometimes a cat pic but never family, myself nor do I post life happenings. As much as people would like to think privacy settings on fb is enough I don't believe it's nearly as protected as they want you to believe.
Making friends, and reconnecting to old ones is not an act of desperation it's normal if you're a person that is not so social IRL. I dont' see it as a bad thing and it could lead to making new connections and finding friends to meet in real life maybe at some point.
Post what you want to share, thre really are no rules to it. whatever you want to say about yourself and your life, whatever you want your circles or the public to understand or know about you.. post as little or as much as you see fit. And again as personal as you are comfortable with but just be cautious and informed that once it's out there, it's there pretty permanently and can be data mined.
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s4ndm4n2006, I agree with you about facebook not having enough privacy. But since every trend comes late where I live, not everyone know the potential dangers of posting personal information. I'm aware of that only because I've been reading articles online about crimes people have done through the internet in the USA. That's another reason why I was so against facebook. Now that I've started to post stuff, I still keep my personal info private, like I don't give out where I live, my date of birth, name of the high school where I graduated. If someone knows me personally, they would know that.
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I don't have facebook page and never been on facebook. No I am not backwards or socially inept, I just don't want it. I know I'll spend too much time on it. There is no rule you have to use fb at all
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divine1966 , thanks for the reply. I didn't mean to offend you. OK, you don't want to use fb. It's fine. But if you remember how it was to be young , you would understand that at that age people pressure you and don't accept you if you don't do all the things they're doing. Maybe people understand that everyone is an individual and should choose which activities or things they like or want to do when they're in their 30's and 40's. I really hope so.
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The other side of your Facebook presence that you can't really see is all the times you "like" something someone else posts or comment on their posts. It takes back-and-forth to make Facebook work and maybe you want to start off just letting other people know that you see them and hear what they are saying.
If you become FB friends with family or friends that you haven't seen for a while, reminiscing usually becomes part of that connection. Even if you don't say anything about it overtly, when you see that person's name, you will find yourself remembering the past.
Sometimes remembering the past doesn't feel good and almost everyone has at least one friend who overshares with photos. Religion and politics also may be discussed.
I think Facebook can be good, but you may find that you need to avoid it when your mental health isn't at its best. I don't think it's always a helpful thing.
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jo_thorne, first off that's some good insight. And second I can understand why it wouldn't be good for my mental health.
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Maybe start off by realizing that Facebook is pretty fake to begin with? That way you can stop feeling pressure to post things. Many people are private and don't feel the need to broadcast every moment of their lives....in that sense, not being active on social media doesn't make you an antisocial loner, rather, it just means you like privacy. I think that if you really start to use Facebook more and more, you'll see what I mean. People only post the good stuff, the happy stuff and make themselves look perfect, or use it as a way to complain about the most idiotic things in the world (which just makes them look stupid). I have stopped using Facebook a number of times, but stupidly I go back....only to MAJORLY regret it later. Then again, I'm a pretty honest person and I hate any hint of fakery, so social media really isn't my cup o tea.
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ChipperMonkey, I can see your point. Yes, facebook is pretty fake, but so are the people in my surrounding. I don't like hypocrisy either, I wish there were more honest people.
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Guess to answer what to post, maybe take a pic of random things that spark your interest, add a quippy line and just gradually build into what makes you unique and comfortable?
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A friend of mine posts a lot about her dog and activities related to that. Many others do the same
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Thanks for the suggestions,
healingme4me and
divine1966. I'll take them into account.
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I don't think you're a loner Shy you have all of us (based on the title)
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Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Keyslost. I don't think I've ever been on a forum where there are so many nice and accepting people. It's a shame I don't have internet connection throughout the whole year, maybe I would've hanged around here more
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