I just got back from the local coffee bar. Something unexpected but nice happened - I started a long conversation with an attractive younger lady. I sort of surprised myself because the conversation actually went pretty well. Anyway, after about a half an hour of bantering I asked if she would like to have coffee again sometime - she said she was very busy but if things lighten up maybe sometime. It was vague so I dropped the idea and wished her well. On the the way back to my place I couldn't help but be relieved knowing that I wouldn't have to face her again - how insecure am I well you can an smell the damage. I kept thinking that I wasn't good enough for her and I had no right to ask her anywhere. Then I thought how alone I am and she would never understand that situation. I also thought that I had just got out of an unrequited love situation that almost killed me. I guess the question is will I ever feel good enough to pursue a relationship - probably not. I ain't young anymore and I feel the odds are small. This again feels like a huge failure - I'm definitely thinking I will always be alone and I was content with this until a few hours ago - damn.....