I need a new life....one I have now is poopy. Don't think I can handle the after church service crowd at walmart.

Guess I'll try the local retirement grocery store. 80+ year old men or women and a shopping cart make a lethal combination.

"Hi Mildred.. (Gee haven't seen you since last night at Applebees early bird special) ...did you know Edna is doing better after her hip surgery. Of course Herman still has to take her when she wants to go. (Don't ask where) She has another doctor's appoint on Tuesday.....

Did you know they moved cards to Thursday night at the club house? That's because the men's club meets Tuesday night.....

How did you like the special last night? Mine was a little dry. Herb said the soup was salty..."

You realize of course that all of this conversation is taking place in the middle of the cookie isle...so you can not get up or down the isle without hearing the whole story.

It take a good 5 minutes before someone takes a breath....then quickly you insert...."Excuse me, may I get a package of cookies." (request does not necessarily get a response)

The parking lot is a war zone....All drivers assume THAT parking place is for them even if they are coming of the aisle backwards.

Rule number two...once I manage to get my groceries and body in my car (10 minutes on a good day)... I shut the door, start the engine and back up.....(you mean I was suppose to make sure there was no one behind me?)

Ain't life sweet