I don't know what's wrong with me. Today, I told my girlfriend that I was going on a day trip with my family for Mother's Day. She said okay. I get back around 9 and I text her, texting her "hey gorgeous <3" for about 20 minutes she doesn't reply. I snapchat her. (Yes I use snapchat) and she answers straight away. She is with her friend Sierra. I say "hey beautiful" she replies "hey babe" I say "guess what?" "She says "what?" I put "I love you more the. I can ever scream." She doesn't reply yet posts a snapchat story of her and her friend driving around listening to music. HERE me out. I'm NOT controlling at all. But I started getting thoughts in my head. Like "maybe they're cruising around looking for guys" or something. That started to get me thinking about things. Why does she NEVER dedicate a day for her and I to just do fun things. All we do when we hang out is watch tv, snuggle and fall asleep. I mean I like that, but she always seems tired. Hell, she always says she is tired. Of course, I give her full body massages. She does have college and work, and I understand that. But she always seems to have the energy to have fun with her friends, but it always seems like she is tired around me. Plus she never likes posting snapchat stories with me. Like I feel like she doesn't like saying "hey I'm having fun with my boyfriend." It seems like she's hiding me. I also feel like shes not attracted to me. I call her beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking, etc ALL the time. She is a little curvey, but I don't mind at all. I mean what I say. I do find her extremely beautiful. But she never calls me sexy or hot, or ANYTHING. Only when we are doing sexual things. The most she ever calls me is "cute" and that makes me feel like a child. I just feel so angry with myself, so frustrated and paranoid. I have a low self esteem and anxiety issues..I'm not the most confident person but I try to be. I hear not being confident is a turn of for women. And like I'm concerned I don't satisfy her sexually, and she has been with alot of guys and I feel like I can't compare. I know all of the guys she has been with have treated her like trash or used her. I've been with her for 2 years (that's both our longest relationships) I was emotionally abused by my ex. She cheated on my with my "friends" lied to me, made me jealous, etc could i be suffering from that? Sometimes I do feel confident and sometimes I don't. The weird thing is, I feel angry but also sexual. I'm just so confused. By the way, I'm 18.