I assume you have no IOP either? The one through my hospital is supposed to be great at helping you get back into real life. But I can't commute 2.5 hours to go to it and I can't afford to stay for 6 weeks in a hotel or something.

The last time I got out when I was so sick my therapist pretty much made me to go NAMI's peer to peer class. He told me that I'd probably know most of what they taught (because I have a degree in psych, a master's in a related field and I worked in psych for a long time) but that I needed to go and be with other people and interact. It was a good thing that I'm glad I did. It helped me realize I wasn't alone when it was too hard to get out of bed or when I wasn't allowed to manage my own meds or when a shower was too much work. It helped me realize how sick I really was and it gave me a chance to join a smaller group afterwards, which I did and then had to give it up because it met on a day I couldn't see my therapist and I couldn't afford 2 trips to the city for the 2 things.

I know the last time I went into the hospital it was because I said I needed help in getting back to being able to take care of myself and managing to live reasonably. I didn't tell them for several days that I believed this was impossible and I had a suicide plan all worked out.

I understand about the burden falling on loved ones. My mom came over today and helped me get my house clean and organized. For a while it was really clean because it helped the mania and then the organization got out of control and I lost it. I hate having her help though because she does this after having done yard work all morning and she's exhausted but still cleaning the floors for me. I just want to be able to do it all myself.It scares me how much I depend on my mom; I live on her property and pay a low rent and get help with housework and figuring out bills when they are confusing and that kind of thing. But she won't be here forever and that terrifies me. There is nothing in our community that would help and my choices would be living closer to my sister (which is much farther from my therapist and psychiatrist) or moving closer to them and living in the city again. I hope I don't have to decide for a long time but its' scary nonetheless.

When I did home heatlh we did have a program for psychiatric patients to help the function better. I don't know if this is everywhere; I know only some companies offer it, but maybe it would help a little?