Hi, Terrie...Welcome to PC!
I understand how you love this man. Alcoholics/addicts are very sweet and charming, lovable, but at the same time will ruin your life! As long as he is using/abusing any substances, you are at risk emotionally and financially. Let me tell you...you will lose everything you own if you allow yourself to continue with him in his present state, and it will take tremendous longterm effort on his part to get himself clean. In the meantime, you can't be his enabler. This really is a case of having to take care of yourself first!
Love
Patty