Hello, my name is Oliver, 18 years old and I'm diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, OCD and ADHD.

I don't work, mainly because I have a hard time getting an education. I have only finished groundschool. I tried 2 times to get an education, both times I lasted roughly a year, then I gave up. Now it's very hard to prepare myself mentally to try and get an education a 3rd time because I'm just so lost and un-motivated after failing twice. I feel like I know myself pretty good, and I can say now that if I try again, then I will fail. There needs to be another way for me to get an education, school does not work for me.

I live in Sweden, and I have been given the option to recieve money from the state each month, so that I can move from home and be independent. I get the money because of my disabilities, and because they make is so difficult for me to get and education and then work my whole life. So it works like a life saver for people with disabilities, so I wont be homeless if I don't work or get an education.

This ofcourse very comforting to me, but also not. It doesn't feel like a long term soloution to accept the money. I mean, everything can change in the near future. The world becomes some wretched place where people with disabilites are forced to get an education and work, or they are thrown out on the street.

I also don't feel good about accepting the money. Everyone else works hard for their money, I won't be doing anything. I would love a simple job that I could do everyday that would make me feel worthy of the money I earn. I could work with anything, except with people. My dream job is probably to work in a grocery store. But by just doing a simple job like restocking the shelves in a grocery store, I would feel like I'm contributing to the world and that I'm working for my money, just like everyone else.

The problem is, that if I want a simple job, then I need an education, wich I have such a hard time getting. It's really hard to get jobs today if you don't have an education, but you know I just want to restock the shelves at the local grocery store. I'm fully capable of doing work with my body, I might not be so smart when it comes to numbers or science, but I can carry stuff, move stuff, orginize stuff, I even know how to use grass cutting machines and a leaf-blower. I don't need an education to work and do these simple jobs that still needs to be done by someone.

What I've just writen, is a worry that's in my head everyday. I just want a simple job man.