Hi Terrye -- Have you considered going to al-anon? I have been in recovery for a very long time, and these weekly meetings can really help with support for you're going through. You will gain an understanding of co-depency, enabling, and start to make fine distinctions between love and your own needs that can feel like love but spring from your own needs.
It's important to visit a few groups, find one where you fit, and stick with it to help you through these emotionally rough times.
And of course, you can find support here, too.
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