Hi eskielover, I see I have made an error when writing, it was the man I met after my xhusband that said I needed to convert. This man who said I needed to convert was my last boyfriend ( who used me for sex )

I was a christian when I married my xhusband and he accepted my religion, he never mentioned that I didnt belong to his religion. I guess he didnt care that either because all he wanted was that green card. I also know that narcissists use people for whatever they want without feeling guilt or remorse. It took my xhusband 4 years to say he hope God may forgive him for what he did, and he say it after he suggest to marry again. I think that tells of manipulation again. He never admitted to any wrong doing before now.

I was naive and believed there could be love even quick marriage. At least my feelings for him where true. I cried over him for weeks and suffered for months after he trashed me. So even I know today it was not "healthy" love there was unhealthy love from my side.

I have become wiser and much more grown. Its easy to be naive when you dont know any better what is normal or not. I dont think one can be responsible until you know something isnt normal or right. If I knew what I know today I would certainly call myself responsible if I married someone they same way today. Manipulators are good at what they do and they can fool anyone.

I totally agree with you. God puts us through trials and pain to make us grow. Its right, if it wasnt for this horrible pain my xhusband gave me and also pain my last boyfriend gave me I would not have grown at all.

God protected me from being used fully, to not let my xhusband getting the green card. Its quite incredible how the protection did happen first time. We applied but I didnt know I had wrong income. Because of this and finding out to late not knowing would I ever get that other right income needed to sponsor him, he chose to get annoyed and vanish in narcisstic rage or anger.

After my last boyfriend I started read the Bible and I started know God and Jesus for real

Hugs