oh gosh i wish none of us had to go through thoughts like this
i basically grew up in fear that i was just waiting for the day i would become "a bad person" because i was always told bad people just do bad things because they're bad and i've always had plenty of very bad thoughts
what i finally (after years of deep fear) realized was that i'm in control of me
as long as i face the problem instead of running from it, i'm in control
when i have a horrid thought i just bring it to the front and say to myself "i am thinking about ______" (insert scary thing) "but it's only a thought"
stuff like that idk but this is coming from someone who fell off the deep end and managed to swim back
and i didn't commit any of the atrocious things that have always haunted me!