Wow, thank you all for your helpful replies. I woke up this morning and was so happy to see them. It's weird though, I'm getting anxious just re-reading my post and the replies.

It sounds like I need to tell my therapist how I feel, like to go slower. I believe we went over way too many abuse things, especially now that I've read all your experiences with therapy and abuse.

Reprocessing sounds much better than cartharsis. I was just in a p.hospital a month ago, for seriously a nervous breakdown(don't care what docs call it, that's what I had!). So anyways, I just can't deal right now I guess. They didn't keep me long enough Just kidding, kind of!

So, it sounds like I do have to get worse to get better. But, at a slower pace. This sounds like it's going to be fun. Yeah. But, I guess things will get better in the long run, which is what I want or Need! Life has *got* to be better than this! Of course, with my ocd, I'm afraid once life is nice, then I'll end up dying-seems like all the happy people die young. Guess I should tell my therapist this!

Oh my gosh, I've been replying to this for an hour! Gees! At least my intial anxiety is gone, yeah!! Tokidoki (now happy, for awhile )