Hi TerriL and Welcome to PC I'm glad you are here.

I was married for 14 years to an alcoholic and it wasn't pretty. He also suffered from depression but refused treatment for either issues.

You have done him a service by having him leave and be responsible for his own actions. Alcoholics will lie, will place all the blame on another party, nothing is ever their fault. We as loving partners will play into their addiction and become enablers without even realizing we've done that.

First and foremost you must look out for yourself. In no other way would you be able to help him at all if he sucked you dry both emotionally and monetarily. Sometimes helping him means letting him suffer the consequences of his actions. But remember this very important thing, it is NOT your fault. You are not the one shoving the coke up his nose or the drink down his throat. He may have started those addictions as a way of self medicating through his depression. As we all know, alcohol is a depressant and only exacerbates his depression.

You have a good head on your shoulders and it sounds like you are willing to do what it takes to help your situation. It will not be easy, and it will hurt. But you must stand strong for your own sake. My prayers are with you and your husband and I hope he reaches out and finds the help he needs to kick his addictions and recover from his depression. I can tell you love him very much, make sure you turn your love on yourself too. You deserve it!

Hugsssss,
J