Have you considered making an exit plan you can act on without warning him? If you live together, you could start moving your stuff slowly to another location and then have friends come in to help you move the rest of it while another friend makes sure he stays out of the house for the day.

It may not be ideal, but it also may be the only way you can escape this unhealthy situation. It sounds like this situation is not doing either of you any good. Ending is going to be painful no matter how you do it, but if you can rip the band aid off at once instead of taking it off a little bit at a time (by trying to break up and then going back after the verbal assault), it may be easier to deal with.