Quote:
Originally Posted by catscradle1
I'm a 34 year old female, who JUST discovered I'm APD. I just thought I was a very insightful not so terrible narcissistic type who got my ego bruised easily and had social anxiety, however I am definitely APD.
I relate to these issues at work. I was recently considering stepping into a management position at work and this is how I discovered my APD. I had to be VERY honest with myself and ask myself if I can keep up the facade of being "normal" in a management position. My current position affords me the option to hide my APD very well. However, the thought of not keeping up the facade scares the crap out of me. Also, I don't want to deal with employees thinking poorly of me or getting fired because I avoid dealing with problems that managers deal with. I don't want people not respecting me.
I'm disappointed in myself that I lack the personality needed to advance in my career. It's depressing.
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Thank you for your response, I'm glad you can relate though I wish it were under better circumstances. That facade.. that face, the personable always up one, just ended up being too hard for me for sure. I have to say it was probably a good experience in a lot of ways, but being oblivious to my problems and not seeking treatment drove me into a corner. In that sense I wouldn't completely discourage you from taking the leap, but if you do, make sure you are monitoring and taking care of yourself, and maybe that there's a back up plan. I wish you luck either way. Sometimes I take comfort in just being "built this way". Not everything worked out as planned, but we're probably pretty damn cool in other ways. If you ever wanna vent, I'm all eyes. Take care.