thank you everyone, I'm trying all your advice ❤ , p tang I'm sorry if my wallowing disturbed you. Just going through a really rough time and asking for help coping with it , I'm sorry if it bothered you . Not everyone handles things the same way , I conebherevto talk about stuff because I cannot in real life and even here I can be guarded a little too but I am trying , to those of you that encouraged me thank you from the bottom of my ❤❤❤